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Stories by MarenOlava

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Submitted on
August 6, 2011
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Sarah had just finished making herself a sandwich and was returning to her room when suddenly her dad, who had been watching TV, stopped her and said, "Sarah, mom called. She want you to call Grandma and thank her for the skirt she bought you."

Sarah sighed. She had received the long blue skirt her father was referring to in the mail earlier that day, and was hesitant to call her Grandmother. It's not that she didn't like the skirt, it was just that Sarah had a hard time imagining where she would possible WEAR it.

"But dad, it's already nine o'clock." Sarah said quickly, trying to dodge a bullet.

Her father said nothing for a moment, then replied with, "Mom wants you to." And that was the end of the discussion. Both Sarah and her father knew that if mom wanted something done, it had to get done. That is, if you wanted your head still attached to your body when she got home.

Sarah groaned and trudged upstairs to her room. She put down her sandwich on her bedside table and picked up her phone. Slowly, knowing that she was only delaying the inevitable, she scrolled through her contacts until she reached "Grandma". Steeling herself, Sarah took a deep breath, and pressed call.

The phone range only a few times before a soft spoken voice answers, "Hello?"

"Hi Grandma, it's Sarah." Sarah said, trying to force some cheeriness into her voice. "I just wanted to, um, call you and say thanks so much for the skirt you sent me!"

Sarah's grandmother said, "Oh, you just got it today! I only sent it yesterday! Well, does it fit you okay?"

Even though Sarah knew her grandmother couldn't hear it, she nodded her head out of habit. "Yeah, it comes up to my waist and it fits really well." She answered. She had tried it on only once, and it felt strange to have her legs somewhat free. The skirt was wide and billowed out, and it made Sarah feel very girly to wear. She wasn't used to that.

As though Sarah's Grandmother was reading her mind, she said, "That's wonderful, dear. I can't wait to see you wear it at Thanksgiving! You're always wearing nothing but jeans; It'll be nice to see you in something a bit more feminine."

For a moment, it felt like all the air had left Sarah's body. It was a long moment before Sarah could reply with, "Yeah! Yeah, I can't wait to wear it for you! It's really pretty, I know you'll love it!"

The conversation didn't last much longer, and Sarah thanked her grandmother once more for the long blue skirt. After she had said, "Goodbye" and "I love you, too!" she hung up the phone and flopped down onto her bed. She looked at her sandwich, so appetizing just a few minutes ago, and the though of eating made her nauseous.

Suddenly, Sarah's phone, which still rested in her hand, beeped with a new text message. It was from her friend Micheal, and it read, "Hey Shawn, we still on for bb Sat nite? Isiah and Kyle are up for 2-on-2 if u r".

Sarah grinned. Basketball with the gang, nothing could lift her spirits more. She quickly typed back, "As long as Im on Kyles team, were gonna kick ur butt!".

Micheal quickly typed back, "ya right! well c whos kicking whos but on Saturday!".

Sarah laughed. She put down her phone and sighed happily. She stared up at the ceiling, then down at the blue skirt laying over her desk chair. It was hard sometimes, pretending to be Sarah when she really just wanted to be Shawn. Her friends Michael, Isiah, and Kyle were perfectly fine with her being FTM transgender, but she was too scared to tell her parents, let alone her grandparents or her aunts and uncles and cousins. She really didn't think they'd understand.

After a moment, Sarah got up and entered her bathroom to get ready for bed. She had school the next day, and wanted to look presentable. She ran her hand through her short boy-cut hair and smiled at her reflection.

One day, Sarah wouldn't be Sarah anymore. One day, Sarah would be gone, and Shawn would be in her place, not feeling trapped inside anymore. Shawn would be free, and he could finally, finally, be happy.
Okay people, this is my disclaimer: I myself being a girl mind and body, still do not fully understand the mindset of people who are transgendered. This was my attempt at putting myself into the shoes of someone who is FTM, or Female to Male stransgendered. Please feel point out any mistakes that I may have made, and please do it NICELY. I am still learning and any mistakes that I may have made are not in ANY WAY meant to offend. Thank you.

Second Disclaimer: All names used in this story were made up on the spot, and are not referencing any people living or dead.

Back story: I actually did get a long blue skirt from my grandmother today, and while I really do like the skirt and look forward to wearing it, she told me over the phone that line about how I always wear jeans and dress so androgynous. I never really thought I did, since I have really wide hips and a C cup bra size, it's kind of hard to mistake me for a boy. However, it is true that I hardly ever wear girly blouses and skirts, simply because I prefer the ease of just throwing on a t-shirt and jeans.

When my grandma said that line to me, she of course didn't mean any harm by it, but it got my thinking. I'm fairly new to the idea of being transgendered. I didn't even know what it was to be transgendered until an episode of a Canadian high school drama called Degrassi introduced a character named Adam, who was a FTM transgender with the birth name of Gracie. The idea seemed interesting to me, but mostly just because I plan on going to med school after I graduate, and the thought of someones mind and body sending a person two different signals interested me as a medical condition.

Then, not too long after that, one of my favorite cosplayers *twinfools came out as FTM transgender! When I first read her, now his, journal about it, my first reaction was, "Oh, my gosh! Is Nova okay with this?!" Nova being the dA name for Twin's long-time IRL girlfriend. Turns out, yes, she was, and not soon after his announcement Twin started hormone therapy, and has had what most call "top surgery" to have his mammary glands removed. Twin has been on T for about a year now and it's impossible to know that he once was female unless you knew him before his change. I myself had always had my own little girl-crush on Twin, and now that he's a boy he's even better looking than before! Unfortunately for me, Twin and Nova are engaged to be married. I'm happy for them both though! They are such a cute couple!

Another gender-different person on dA that I look up to is *Double-oh-Seven. DOS is not transgender, but instead what most call "gender fluid". That is to say, some days DOS will wake up feeling feminine. They'll put on a skirt and put on some make-up before going out and about their day. Other days, DOS will wake up and feel masculine. They'll throw on a tee-shirt and jeans and head on out.

I strongly admire those who are brave enough to come to terms with their gender-identity issues, whether they be fully transgendered or simply gender-fluid. My heart goes out to anyone struggling to find themselves in a very "black and white" "male or female" world. You are NOT alone, and there is always hope. :heart:

TL;DR: *twinfools is transgendered, *Double-oh-Seven is gender-fluid, and if anything you've read here has offended you, please go back and read and re-read the disclaimers before commenting. Thank you. :)
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Chapawee13 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for making this!
oddgtsgirl Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014
serious critque:  saying "her" even after explaining the character was a transman is misgendering, kind of a big no-no and a lot of transmen would find that offensive  in a story portraying a transman/ftm 

(also transgender doesn't have a past tense ^-^" transgendered isn't a word) sorry not trying to be mean just informative in the nicest way I can word it.
samekichii Featured By Owner Edited Sep 3, 2014
this comment is kind of old but
'ftm' isn't a proper term since its the same thing as saying 'transgendered' or 'straight to gay'
also 'transman' should be written as 'trans man' bc its a adjective and describes//
sorry if this is rude omg
TheSpunkkMiesterr Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2014  Student General Artist
thank you
AmericanGirl88 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for your corrections! I wrote this is 2011, and have since learned a LOT more about the subject. This is an old piece, and thus portrays an outdated understanding, and for that I apologize. Thank you for your kindness!
JackofallGenres Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2014  Hobbyist
I'm FtM, and you pretty much nailed it.
LikeSrslyOmg Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
 I saw a story about someone named Shawn on experience project an hour ago. Any who, very nice story and thank you for sharing. :D 
floridapanther28 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I like the ending, how his friends ask him to play basketball (or maybe baseball idk), but you misgendered him throughout the whole story! The wrong pronouns, such as "she" and "her" are actually quite triggered to trans* individuals. 

Please call your character Shawn "he" and "him" if he is a boy. Thank you! 

JackofallGenres Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2014  Hobbyist
Yeah, that annoyed me to no end. Hell, I was in tears almost.
floridapanther28 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Same. Glad I'm not the only decent one here. 
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