Sarah had just finished making herself a sandwich and was returning to her room when suddenly her dad, who had been watching TV, stopped her and said, "Sarah, mom called. She want you to call Grandma and thank her for the skirt she bought you."
Sarah sighed. She had received the long blue skirt her father was referring to in the mail earlier that day, and was hesitant to call her Grandmother. It's not that she didn't like the skirt, it was just that Sarah had a hard time imagining where she would possible WEAR it.
"But dad, it's already nine o'clock." Sarah said quickly, trying to dodge a bullet.
Her father said nothing for a moment, then replied with, "Mom wants you to." And that was the end of the discussion. Both Sarah and her father knew that if mom wanted something done, it had to get done. That is, if you wanted your head still attached to your body when she got home.
Sarah groaned and trudged upstairs to her room. She put down her sandwich on her bedside table and picked up her phone. Slowly, knowing that she was only delaying the inevitable, she scrolled through her contacts until she reached "Grandma". Steeling herself, Sarah took a deep breath, and pressed call.
The phone range only a few times before a soft spoken voice answers, "Hello?"
"Hi Grandma, it's Sarah." Sarah said, trying to force some cheeriness into her voice. "I just wanted to, um, call you and say thanks so much for the skirt you sent me!"
Sarah's grandmother said, "Oh, you just got it today! I only sent it yesterday! Well, does it fit you okay?"
Even though Sarah knew her grandmother couldn't hear it, she nodded her head out of habit. "Yeah, it comes up to my waist and it fits really well." She answered. She had tried it on only once, and it felt strange to have her legs somewhat free. The skirt was wide and billowed out, and it made Sarah feel very girly to wear. She wasn't used to that.
As though Sarah's Grandmother was reading her mind, she said, "That's wonderful, dear. I can't wait to see you wear it at Thanksgiving! You're always wearing nothing but jeans; It'll be nice to see you in something a bit more feminine."
For a moment, it felt like all the air had left Sarah's body. It was a long moment before Sarah could reply with, "Yeah! Yeah, I can't wait to wear it for you! It's really pretty, I know you'll love it!"
The conversation didn't last much longer, and Sarah thanked her grandmother once more for the long blue skirt. After she had said, "Goodbye" and "I love you, too!" she hung up the phone and flopped down onto her bed. She looked at her sandwich, so appetizing just a few minutes ago, and the though of eating made her nauseous.
Suddenly, Sarah's phone, which still rested in her hand, beeped with a new text message. It was from her friend Micheal, and it read, "Hey Shawn, we still on for bb Sat nite? Isiah and Kyle are up for 2-on-2 if u r".
Sarah grinned. Basketball with the gang, nothing could lift her spirits more. She quickly typed back, "As long as Im on Kyles team, were gonna kick ur butt!".
Micheal quickly typed back, "ya right! well c whos kicking whos but on Saturday!".
Sarah laughed. She put down her phone and sighed happily. She stared up at the ceiling, then down at the blue skirt laying over her desk chair. It was hard sometimes, pretending to be Sarah when she really just wanted to be Shawn. Her friends Michael, Isiah, and Kyle were perfectly fine with her being FTM transgender, but she was too scared to tell her parents, let alone her grandparents or her aunts and uncles and cousins. She really didn't think they'd understand.
After a moment, Sarah got up and entered her bathroom to get ready for bed. She had school the next day, and wanted to look presentable. She ran her hand through her short boy-cut hair and smiled at her reflection.
One day, Sarah wouldn't be Sarah anymore. One day, Sarah would be gone, and Shawn would be in her place, not feeling trapped inside anymore. Shawn would be free, and he could finally, finally, be happy.